Maire1 PSA for International Womens Day 2012

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Nedumaran Elangovan

(I wanted to write something lighter this week as the gangster thing kinda turned into a monster and made myself and Durai as main targets for parang swinging form 2 kids. )

A close friend of mine commented on my FB that, “you are losing friends every day”. This was in reaction to my FB statuses that tend to be a bit blunt and makes people some people ‘sakit-hati’. In my defence, FB does ask you what you have in you mind right?

Have to admit, I do have alot of friends in FB, as I went to 4 different schools, lived in 5 different cities, attended 2 different colleges and worked at about 8 different places. 10 people or more from each place, suddenly I have more friends compared to the people I remember.Blau Bogen

Some of my friend do find my posts offensive, and yes, some have indeed unfriended me. With each friend you add and lose, you kinda get the whole idea of what people are actually doing in FB. You can generalize people to a lot of categories. For this entry we will be focusing on the macha’s on FB only.

As today happens to be International Ladies Day (admit it, if you didn’t have FB, you wouldn’t know), as a Public Service Announcement for our lovely ladies. I would like to highlight to the ladies, who should you avoid in FB.

Annoyance level is categorized by the general nuisance or “geram” this particular person causes you in your news feed.
Danger level, is categorized as the danger he might cause you if you get close. So here:
Maire1 PSA for International Womens Day 2012:Macha’s You Should Avoid!

The Friends friend
By far, the most common type of macha in FB. Will randomly add you, through a mutual friend and stalk your profile.
He will have multiple albums of himself in different poses. Will only talk about things that others talk about, mainly football “Man Utd the best!”, food “Going out for makan!” or movies “Ramarajan is a good actor!” as he is unable to be original.
Will like the things you like. If you happen to add him, he will also add you best friends, your sister, your cousins and even your aunt, if she has an account. Will like anything they post too.
Will creepily show up when all of you are discussing something unrelated to him.
He will like all the pictures of yourself that you upload. He will comment on any post, with things like ‘True’, ‘Well said’, “I agree very much’.
He is very annoying, but generally safe. If you leave them alone, they will go away.

Annoyance Level: High

Danger Level: Low

The Gangster

Easiest to spot. Usually will have profile pictures of gang numbers or colors. Mainly consisting of secondary school kids. Will usually have a lot of male friends, whom share the affinity for the same gang, most likely these guys have never met.
Will most likely have pictures of EX5, someone 21st birthday, Thaipusam/temple tiruvila/gods.
Likes Tammana, Trisha , Bob Marley and Tamil hip hop. Sometimes will also like Justin Bieber, Twilight and Glee
Highly unlikely to add educated Indian girls. If you are from a nursing college, expect friend requests from them. I cannot explain this logic, but it seems that most gangster Meenachis study nursing.
He will rarely comment on your status, but likes galore. Unless you status is in Romanized Tamil.
If you happen to add any one of these guys, expect their friends to add you too.

Annoyance Level: High

Danger Level: Medium

The Hopeless Romantic
Will have an edited profile picture, of himself looking the best he can be. He will have hundreds of girls in his FB, 99% of them he has never met or spoken.

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Once added, expect a wall post saying “Thank you for the post”, followed by likes of you profile pictures.
His status will be quotes about love he googled or Tamil song lyrics.
He will be online all the time.
Status will be updated about ten times daily. Will start with “Good morning FB Frenz” early in the morning and will end with “So sleepy” or “Good nite fwenz” late at night.
He will share pictures of poems, babies, dogs and sunsets. Usually, will post Tamil movie songs in his wall with title like ‘my fav song’. Will definitely like Tamil actors like Surya, Vijay or Jayam Ravi.
If you add him, expect him to buzz you in FB chat every time you’re online. If you layan him often, expect the previously mentioned videos or pictures to be tagged with your name.
He will poke you everyday.

Also, has a tendency to upload his own picture, and tag everyone in his profile to his picture.
Most of the times, he will like his own post and status.
He can suddenly address you with creepy names like “Ma, da, dear”. If you chat with him for 2 days, he will ask your phone number.
Will say “I love you” as soon as you start to regularly interact with him.

Annoyance Level: High

Danger Level: Medium

The Heartbroken

Hard to spot before adding.
Can be identified by status like ‘Penne nambathe’, ‘Kathal Poi’, ‘Pambe nambe, penne nambathe’. But in his profile, he will still be ‘Looking for women for friendship”.
He will be angry at something most of the time.
He will identify himself with images from the emo movement.
Modus operandi is almost similar like the romantic, but will try to use reverse psychology on you. Will say things like women cannot be trusted, women only break hearts and all.
Once you layan he will start his jiwang-ness by saying you are not like the other women that he met.
He will usually pour his heart to you at a drop of the hat.
Once you start to layan him frequently, he will tell you sad stories about his past loves, trying to get your sympathy.
Most dangerous of all because usually he uses a woman’s caring and loving nature for his own gain. Stay away.

Annoyance Level: Medium

Danger Level: Very High

The Attention Gigolo

These machas will almost never use their own names. Usually will have prefix like ‘Prinze/MC/Mizta/Stylo” of suffixes like ‘Don’ to their name. Will have names with unusual characters like:


Will sometimes have multiple profiles such as:
Mc Mizta Stylo Kunjimani Don Full
Mc Mizta Stylo Kunjimani II
No one knows how he manages to get so many friends to add him.
Most of the time, his status will be gibberish, I assume he copies random text from his college jamban graffiti or from his mothers blood pressure medicine bottle.
Has the keyboard rosak syndrome, wHEre H3 WiLl wRiTe LikE ThiS, anD sUrelY EnOugH SoM3 mIN4Ch1 wILl LiK3.
If you have 100 friends, most of the time you will have around 30 mutual friends with him, and none of your friends will know who exactly he is.
Has a tendency to share every local Tamil music clip, 9Gag pictures and shares “Share this status if you like tauge!’ type of posts.
Most of his picture will be edited. He thinks Facebook is the new Friendster.
Rarely will disturb you, as some meenachi will already have fallen in love with his “coolness”.

Annoyance Level: Very High

Danger Level: Very Low

Sekian terima kasih.

Penulis berharap, puan-puan dapat menggunakan informasi ini untuk kebaikan diri sendiri, bangsa dan Negara.

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