‘White’ Skinned Meenachis
Srinisha Nair
I just feel that the topic you currently shared Dark Skinned Meenachis is so close to my heart that I would like to say something, my share of it. I am your typical south indian girl, except fairer than most of them. I can tell you, it has never been a bed of roses for me. I’ve been mentally, emotionally, and sexually harassed due to my fair skin colour.
I’ve worked in a few call centres previously for short periods during my semester breaks and it was one of my toughest times. When you’re fair, every freakin attention falls on you. I walk into my office, you have men staring at you from top to bottom and girls giving you that cold stares. I was always pushed, never accepted, no Indian girl was ready to accept me as a friend. There was one time, I was rushing to work so I took a cab to the LRT station. As I got down the cab, I noticed there was an Indian man standing at the walkway towards the LRT station staring at me and I had to pass him.
He was very tall, very big, and very dark. He had a surgical mask on him. I thought to myself “just walk pass him quickly”. I was wearing a pink salwar kameez that day. So I paid the driver and started walking. When I passed by behind him, all of a sudden, he turned around, removed his mask, looks at me and goes like “unekke enna rombhe veleiya irekumne nenepa?” and he spat on my face. Yes, literally spat on my face! I was 19 and a very naive person then. I remember an Indonesian guy pushed that man and shouted at him for spitting on me. I just ran. Ran away from there, up to the LRT station’s washroom. I saw myself in the mirror, his spit and plegm covered my forehead and eyebrows.
I shivered, cried and cried and cried. I just want to tell you, writing this piece of memory now took me lots of courage cause I imagined that moment and it was a nightmare. I wanted to be normal, just like every other girl. I hated being fair. I wanted to burn under the sun and be dark!
There was one time, my friend and I finished our Odissi dance class and went to a restaurant to have lunch. This man, from India, walked to our table and said hello, we did not reply him. He greeted us again and continued by saying ” rendu perum alaga irekinge, aana ninge innum alagu. Naa ingetha hotel eh thangiriken, room 304, free ah irentha vangeleh”. He was referring it to me. My friend was dark, but super gorgeous, and yet he aimed it at me. I swear to you, no girl should ever go through that painful moment. I went red and screamed at him. I’ve never been that angry in my life. I nearly threw my plate at him. The waiter took him out of the shop. I just sat down there and cried.
I can go on with many bad experiences in my life until my recent one where I joined at U mobile as a cust service rep and got bullied and harassed by the Indian boys there since I was fair. Going to work everyday was hell, but I had to because I wanted to save money to pay Lembaga Peperiksaan. I just didn’t want to ask my parents. I did pull through 3 months, with lots of tears and painful moments. I love wearing skirts, I’m a crazy fan of skirts. My aunty stopped me from wearing them saying “un kaale veleiya ireke, naraiya bangla karenenge train le yerevange, venam.” I understood why.
It’s not all bed of roses. I’ve cried myself to sleep many nights. The advantages, we have a few, it’s very easy to get mappilai for girls like us. I’ve got many proposals up till now. Up till a very famous Tan Sri who asked me for his son. How did they describe me? “The white girl at the front of the wedding hall wearing the kerala saree” .My parents were not interested, neither was I, but they were very adamant. I have a pacemaker in my heart, easier to say a battery operates my heart. So when my uncle told them about it, they stopped. It was just the colour that attracted them, they wanted a “perfect” package. Basically what society thinks perfect is…
Another incident happened during my cousin’s wedding, so the rest of the cousins were holding flowers and the paneer for the guests. My cousin is slightly darker than me, but extremely beautiful and we’re best friends. However, the wedding photographer kept following me everywhere I went and only took my pictures at the entrance. I felt like a piece of shit. Immediately my cousin goes like…
“avan enna unaiye suthi suthi varan? en padathela edekeve matengeran? nee veleiya irekere naale thane?”
Why is he only taking pictures of you? Because you’re fair?
AWKWARD. SUPER AWKWARD. No, I didnt love the attention, in fact it bugged me so much that I wanted to go home and lock myself in my room. I’ve been called names and bullied and pushed.
But I am great now. I’m building up my self confidence slowly. Just cause you’re fair, doesnt meant you’re perfect, confident and brave. I have more to go in my life I know, but I’m accepting it slowly.
Srinisha Nair
I would happily marry a smart, independent, beautiful, battery-operated (no joke intended here) girl like you. You fair or dark wouldn’t matter to me, like how my dark doesn’t matter to anyone who knows me. I don’t see why this is a problem among our Indians. Only an Indian will degrade a fellow Indian. Special shoutout to the Indonesian dude who stood up for you 🙂
Julez you’re just another freak like other guys. This is a blog and she is expressing it very sadly. Please **** off and find something good to do with yourself
Sorry you saw it that way. If I could sum up what I said in one sentence, it’s that color doesn’t matter to me, shouldn’t to anyone. And yeah, I was serious about the Indonesian guy. Cheers matey.
Here’s to celebrating Nelson Mandela’s passing!! by talkin bout skin color.. Morgan Freeman said something wise. If we want to move on from these things, we should not be talking of them. i think he’s got a point. stop differenciating people by color. This article might have the right intentions, but the only thing it’s generating is more hype bout being black or white.
You go girl! People should never judge each other based on the color of the skin but their personality. You are a super nice and brave girl. We humans come in different colors, shapes and sizes but and all of this should not separate us from society. It’s just sad that some people can be really IGNORANT!
I felt her pain and went thru similar version till in a period of years, i start to uglified myself and make myself fatter so i don’t have to be centre of attention. In a time, i realized it was a wrong decision and embrace myself to deal with it. Hope white skinned think positive and learn to accept who she is and be confident with her looks. If anyone spit on your face, kick his ass out!
To me this is plain Jealousy. Simply stop the comparison! Not only the Indians but all race face this problem. We envy the fairer ones, the prettier ones because we feel insecure with ourselves. We do not get the attention we want from the opposite gender. We are attracted to the outer beauty more than the inside. Girls especially, if only we can accept why we have this body or this colour. There are advantages of being fair and being dark. It is the mentality of the society that makes it hard for us to accept whom we are. If you are dark you get less proposals/attention, if you are fair you get harassed or bullied for the colour you have! I guess this mindset will never change. As an individual we should build our self esteem and know what we are worth. You only live once, let no one criticize you for the colour/body/looks you have. Nobody is perfect!
Julez: We need more men like you. Salute to your way of thinking.
Getting “attention” (soppe tolle)is better than “rejection” (karuppe tolle)…sigh..
Nan elunthena, ninggellam alunterivinga!!
Muude…
ni mudedaa…
naderi joker.. NJ
Haish.. White also problem black also problem.. Enna kodume saravanan ithu
this story is utter rubbish…there are many many fair skinned indian girls in malaysia..and me as an indian is very proud of..please whoever wrote this utter rubbish…pls stop thinking u are the only fair skinned indian girl..i think u have no confidence at all in yourself and thinks that u go thru all this problem just because u r fair…please la grow up and stop spreading silly stories like this..
I don’t think this has anything to do with being fair skinned rather than the value one places in oneself leading to heightened or lower self confidence. The men the writer has encountered in this writing, not all fair skinned people deal with. They just sound like creepy men that any woman fair skinned or dark skinned or fat or thin would encounter. Isolated incidents that dont happen to many.
The rest of the story is mostly about her being chased or noticed by men or VIPs because of her fair skin…does not make for a good piece for awareness purpose. And not all fair skinned people walk around being ashamed or insulted for being fair. Consider being fair a a blessing and cherish the positive attention and ignore the haters.
Whilst I respect the writers views, I also feel the piece wasn’t right somehow…just my ten cents view.
Spot on, SK. Also agree with what Nina has said, any female fr that matter would get attention or stares frm random men.
This writer seems to be only harping on the fact that she gets all this (unwanted) attention n is so disturbed by it which only goes to show how much shes reacting to these gestures.
Certain instances u have experienced I tink r worst case scenarios, but putting those aside I don’t think u shud dwell in misery for “not being normal”. Fair or dark its how u carry urself in public n not get consumed by all tis attention, is what matters.
Hey! What’s next? Mid-toned skinned girl? Anyone? Well my heart goes for both (dark & fair) girls!
Being South Indian females, she must have known the special function of ladies footwear.. Should have got her serrupu on the faces of the LRT spitter & pervert tht invited her to the hotel.
i think this story is real if you read it carefully.. indians are very humble people and they dont really do things like ‘spitting on the girls face because she did not bother the guy’. Worst come to worst they would spit on the ground, none have the balls to act violently to a pretty girl. Ask ourselves and reflect. There are more other sensational news that can be written down.
isn’t real*
typo errror on first line
This story seems a tad bit exaggerated to me. It doesn’t matter what skin color you are. As long as you come from the female species it’s enough for the guys to harass/tease you in public. I travel alone a lot and no, I’ve never been harassed like this in public. People will stare because you are different not better than everyone else. And what does the writer mean by, “I just wish i was normal?” So all this while she was thinking she was special because she was apparently white and dark-skinned people fall in the “normal” category? If she wanted to be dark why didn’t she get a freakin tan then? It’s not that hard given that we’re living in Malaysia. Obviously this person is secretly feeding on the special attention she gets because of her white skin. And give our Indian machas some credit. Yes they do a lot of eve-teasing and wolf-whistling,(poor souls, never seen girls in their lives before)but I’m pretty sure they haven’t got the guts to actually talk/act like how the writer has stated especially in public. As much as I hate discrimination based on skin color, admit it, deep down pretty much everyone with darker skin tone wants to be fair someday or wished that they were fairer at some point of their life. Even a fair skinned girl would want to be fairer than she already is, probably keeping Tamannah as a benchmark. Because that’s what our Indian society has taught us all this while and it will take a long time to change that mindset.
The best part is some white girls/guys looking for indians or african and get married so that they will get a dark cute baby…. too white also looks like hantu phocong la….. i am a rajini fan not kamal fan 🙂
I am considered fair.. But I’ve never been treat like this.. The worst that has happened to me is bitchy remarks from other girls over something as stupid as a skin colour.. Something i had no power over. I hope you read this.. I think the problem isnt your skin colour its your attitude..I think the reason you get so much male attention is because you are beautiful..not because of your skin colour.. You seem to be looking down on yourself alot.. And peverted men can pick up on ur low self esteem and make a move because they know you wouldn’t fight back.. Love yourself.. Walk confidently and trust me no creep would dare to mess with you.
To that extent? You have been thru a lot,been there.growing up as Indian Muslim ain’t easy . kudos for for helding your head up high and brace thru it. You gotta step up and protect what yours, your space.it might be your reaction and how you behave around other people as well you know?whoknows
Get married and settle down. will solve your problem when they see the “Thaali” on you. just a joke. don’t take it as discriminatory.
“and he spat on my face. Yes, literally spat on my face!”
Are u serious?
My wife is very good looking and she has a super fair skin texture even the Chinese saloon girls will admire the extra ordinary complexion she has but never had she complained to me anything like this happened before nor after marriage.
dei pun de..ippe puriyethe da…nee oru sariyana manga pulithi pundamavane
Respect to girl..but I bet not all girls like you..many of them feel proud and happy coz being fair….for guys our perception towards fair girls are they very thimuru and sombong..
Dear Srinisha,
Thank you for writing this article. I feel somewhat embarrassed for recently trying to communicate to a person whom I took a huge liking to, not because she was fair or anything of that sort. It was because after what I have gone through in life, I was of the opinion that God finally sent me an angel. I would have been just that much happy to just have known this angel a little better. However I guess that would be a very selfish gesture especially after reading your article.
My advice for you is that, Yes you are that angel that God sent to this earth and despite the evil forces at play, Yes you will overcome all these negative forces in time.
Plato once said,
That humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces.
Fearing their power, Zeus the most powerful of the Greek gods, split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.
Dear Srinisha, your other half is out there and he will complete you and the two of you will be a force that is the embodiment of all that is good in this world.
I wish you all the best in your future and you will always be in my prayers.
Warm regards.
Vijay.
Sharing an article
http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/features/in-my-20s-with-a-pacemaker?page=2