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Archive for July, 2014

Rape

Elie

My life has been one long drawn nightmare. All the memories keep replaying like they’ve just happened yesterday. No matter what we do, there are some memories that we never forget.

My father was a very strict man. My mother was a housewife. My father was in many ways very caring and loving, but at times his temper would flare and he would take his anger out on his family. He would beat us, strangle us, attempt to drown us in the bathtub, and even sometimes throw us from our first floor balcony down to the ground. He kicked, punched and stomped me until I was 17. I’d go to school bruised and wounded, and every time someone asked, I’d have to think up a different excuse. As a child, I used to think he’d torture us because we have done something wrong. But as I grew up, I realized he made us his punching bag because he needed to release his tension. He never smoked or drank: he was simply a violent, angry man. But even getting beaten up was better than witnessing my mother gets beaten in the same way. My mum was a homely and quiet person. She would get hit mostly because she tried to stop him from hitting us.

The infamous sick fuck from Klang who once sparked global outrage when a video of him abusing two young kids was published in Facebook.

Sadly, this was only one aspect of my childhood. Along with getting beaten, I was sexually abused multiple times during my childhood. When I was 5 and 6, my auntie’s son, who was in his early 20’s, stayed at my house for a short time. Whenever I was home alone with my cousin, he would touch me. His touches led to more actions, and eventually he forced me to perform oral sex on him. His explanation was that this was the way cousins show their love for each other. When he moved out, his brother molested me for almost a year. I never understood what was happening. I have never been told not to let anyone behave this way towards me. I didn’t even know what was happening was wrong.

As the years passed, I tried to bury my memories of my sexual abuse. But when I was 13, it happened again. My mother’s youngest brother-in-law began living at our house. He was a pervert, and our whole family knew it, but nobody ever expected he’d prey on his own family. But he did. One day, I came home from school early because I was feeling sick and feverish. I took the bus home, and had the house to myself. I took medicine and immediately fell asleep. Suddenly, I was awoken from my sleep by a terrible, almost unbearable pain. I then realized I was lying naked in my bed with someone on top of me. By the time I fully realized what had happened; my uncle was through with me. I pushed him away and locked myself in the bathroom. I panicked: I did not understand what happened.

At that age, all I knew about sex was it is something adults do, and should only do after marriage. After my family came home, I felt safer and went back to my room. There was blood on my sheets. I could barely sleep that night because of the pain in my body. I told my cousin the next day what had happened. She begged me to not tell anyone, believing that if I told, it would surely split my family up. She told me I would only humiliate myself. I convinced myself not to tell anyone. I didn’t want my parents to feel like they had failed to protect me. I kept quiet and started to avoid my uncle completely.

But one day, I was late to school. I had no choice but to ride with him. Halfway through, he began asking me questions about that afternoon he raped me. He asked if I enjoyed it. He told me he should be teaching me how to do it, and that it could be our little secret. I was trying so hard not to cry. I did not want to look weak in front of him. When we reached the school, he gave me RM5 and told me to ‘keep it for the night’. It was if my virginity was worth only RM5 to him. I tore it up in front of him and ran to school. Once at school, I broke down. I told my friends what had happened and asked them to keep it secret. They back-stabbed me and spread it around not only to our school, but to other schools nearby. Read more…

8 comments - What do you think?  Posted by ragedindian - July 15, 2014 at 1:43 pm

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