Comedy Piece

What’s happening to our Tamil school UPSR students?

Velmuruga Kalimuthu

I have been thinking about this topic for some time now and worried if I write this a lot of folks going to get pissed.  I’m not a writer; so writing about such a big issue is not my cup of tea but I won’t feel good if I don’t share this issue with others. With UPSR  just around the corner, here is something to read about our kids.

I was a Tamil school student from Penang and I’m very proud about that. In fact I have been flashing that ‘badge’ all my life. Lately a lot of issues are going on about Tamil school students who goes to secondary school after UPSR can’t keep up, falling behind in education, getting involved in social problems and finally joining some gang with coffin numbers.

First of all Indians are thinking twice to enroll students in SJKT because we think Tamil schools are second grade schools. Indians thinks that Tamil schools students are not getting good education, good facility, qualified teachers compared to SRK counterpart. Most of them fail to notice that SJKT students gets more A’s than SRK students in UPSR. So I’m not here to argue about Tamil school’s education quality.
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Jannal Vecha Jackets in Temples

Sivashangkari Genapathy

I’m titling this article as -Jannal Vecha Jackets in Temples.

Hope we learn something from here

I’m dedicating this article especially to the most beautiful creatures in the world: women.I went to a temple last Friday and the scenes I saw in the temple; mind blowing I couldn’t believe my eyes. Temples seriously has turned out be a place to wash eyes (kannu kaluvurathu); a place to find a prospective new boy or girlfriend or to replace the old ones.

There was this group of four to five girls dressed as if they are on a fashion show with all their “Indian fashion week jackets”, and saree tied like Namitha (below the belly button). They were all hot chicks.

How can the bees miss the hot welcoming flowers right; a group of guys in the equal number was looking at the girls as if they have never seen a boobs or a belly button before. Who wouldn’t?? Even saints will get distracted. Read more…

Open Letter to Nambikei

Nedumaran Elangovan

Dear Nambikei,

Greetings from a disgruntled Indian.

I do not know how to address you. I do not know how many of you are there.  I tried to find some information on your organizational hierarchy, but I am unable to do so.

A WHOIS[1] query done on your site has also not done much help, as your details have been hidden for reasons unknown. Why the secrecy? What are you hiding?

In your own words, you have said that “Nambikei is a news portal focused on reporting the facts and delivering the truth[2].” But by hiding your contact details, you look no better than a Nigerian 419 internet scammer. How can truth and facts be verified without its source being confirmed?

Adding on to that, by saying that you are a ‘news portal’, you are saying that you are bound by the ethics of journalism. The main ones being- truthfulness, accuracy, objectivity, impartiality, fairness and public accountability[3]. Read more…

GEMPAR ! MIC Mahu Tuhan Bantu Menang Election!!!

SK Durai

Penulis sedang melayan setin Carlsberg sambil melayari Facebook apabila terbaca satu artikel yang cukup menarik perhatian penulis. Setelah habis membaca berita tersebut, penulis ketawa terbahak-bahak kerana sekali lagi parti politik India terbesar di Malaysia(sendiri claim besar) telah membuktikan mereka memang bengap.

Sila baca petikan berita sensasi ini:

“PETALING JAYA: While almost all political parties in the country are scrambling to capture the hearts and minds of voters, MIC, the largest Indian-based political party, seems to be hoping for divine intervention to weather the coming general election.

The party intends to erect an altar in the president’s office at the MIC headquarters, and work is underway to construct a water fountain at the entrance of the building.“The water fountain is supposed to bring good luck… it is claimed that the flowing water is good ‘feng shui’. The altar is under the president’s (G Palanivel) orders. He is a religious man,” said a MIC leader,who declined to be named.”

Meanwhile, FMT learnt that several MIC leaders have also resorted to seeing “bomoh” or witch- doctors to ensure they are given seats to contest under the BN banner at the coming general election.

“Although I have not witnessed it, people tell me that some leaders are holding prayers and rituals secretly outside the headquarters at night in the hope of being named as a candidate,” said the leader.

“I have been in this party for a very long time and this is the first time I hear of leaders seeing bomoh. They have to work to win the hearts of the people instead of indulging in this,” he added.”

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Panas! Indian Girls Exposed! Maire1 Exclusive (18 Tahun Keatas Sahaja)

Nedumaran Elangovan

“Macha, puthu Tamila pilleh video…sarrekke jokka irruke”.

Im sure, you guys that read this blog, have heard of this. Lots of you won’t admit it, but I am pretty darn sure that those with Bluetooth capable phones surely have had at least one blue clip featuring Indian girls.

I know this one girl, who used to be my junior in college. (My FB inbox is gonna blow with questions ‘yaaru bang anthe pilleh?’). She is a sweet, friendly and in her early twenties. The type of person, you can take home to meet mom. She had everything going well for her, until she met this guy, who managed to get into her heart. After a very public relationship, they broke up due to some differences.

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The Notorious Facebook Models

 
 
Vinoth Madivanan

Follow me @___december 

WARNING: This post is straight up, and it will offend you, I will not be responsible for your emotions. Having said that, proceed to read at your own risk. Use sanitized napkins.

Social network has always been a powerful tool or a medium to connect people, your loved ones and random truck drivers across the country, or world. However, recently; well for a few years, I have been encountering this phenomena that I would like to call “The Facebook Models Disorder” . Lets get into details.

Beauty is subjective. I may find a girl who is dark skinned beautiful, but someone might find her looking  like air-cond compresser covered with sambar. So beauty is not a vital or crucial criteria for one to become a model. Read more…

How to make ur ex back

exgirl come back and
signs your ex girlfriend secretly wants you back after 5 months or
what to do to get my old boyfriend back to me.
Tips in not contacting ex boyfriend
how to my ex girlfriend back, i want my ex back after 3 years, etc.

by Vinoth Madivanan

WARNING: This post might hurt you. I did not make this up. It happens around us.
And this is not the conventional Tamil spoken throughout the world, this is our Malaysian version.

I know Little bit Tamil

Taranya Keereen

This is an issue which has been nagging me for years which I am finally happy that I am being given a chance to express it.

The issue that I want to highlight is the use of our mother tongue, Tamil or Malayalam or Telugu for that matter. I understand that although we are all categorized as Indians in this country but in our own way we are of many different types of clans and thus we have different types of language we practice. What I don’t understand is that since when English became our mother tongue? Did our great-grandparents have illicit affairs with the Mat Sallehs who were in Malaysia before our independence? Is that why we have so many dark skinned vellekaren walking amongst us?

Honestly I am sick and tired of listening to Indians who keeps SPEAKING broken English to their kids at temples, dhevarem classes and bharathanatyam classes.Seriously what the hell? Come on, these people are coming there to enhance the Indian tradition but are ashamed to speak their own mother tongue? If we don’t practice our mother tongue then who is going to speak it? Chinese?  Or better still Americans?

The other day I was at the temple going about my business when I heard something which made me rooted to the spot I was standing and turn around. I saw this lady (might be in the age group of 40+ ) who was explaining to her niece of 6 or 7 years old bout Mother Durga. The only thing which made me pissed was not her explanation but the language she used. For God’s sake that lady who should obviously know Tamil (since when Indians in the olden days were fluent in English? So her parents definitely would have communicated with her in Tamil,shoot me if she can’t speak Tamil cause I can and I am way younger than her) was explaining to the girl or more likely introducing her to Goddess Durgama in English. How corny. What a shame for the Indian community that an introduction between a deity and her young devotee is done in English. Oh and did I mention that she did it in Tanglish which is the broken English that most Indians are so proud of parading around? Read more…

Maire1 PSA for International Womens Day 2012

Nedumaran Elangovan
 
(I wanted to write something lighter this week as the gangster thing kinda turned into a monster and made myself and Durai as main targets for parang swinging form 2 kids. )

A close friend of mine commented on my FB that, “you are losing friends every day”. This was in reaction to my FB statuses that tend to be a bit blunt and makes people some people ‘sakit-hati’. In my defence, FB does ask you what you have in you mind right?

Have to admit, I do have alot of friends in FB, as I went to 4 different schools, lived in 5 different cities, attended 2 different colleges and worked at about 8 different places. 10 people or more from each place, suddenly I have more friends compared to the people I remember.

Some of my friend do find my posts offensive, and yes, some have indeed unfriended me. With each friend you add and lose, you kinda get the whole idea of what people are actually doing in FB. You can generalize people to a lot of categories. For this entry we will be focusing on the macha’s on FB only.

As today happens to be International Ladies Day (admit it, if you didn’t have FB, you wouldn’t know), as a Public Service Announcement for our lovely ladies. I would like to highlight to the ladies, who should you avoid in FB.

Annoyance level is categorized by the general nuisance or “geram” this particular person causes you in your news feed.
Danger level, is categorized as the danger he might cause you if you get close. So here:
Maire1 PSA for International Womens Day 2012:Macha’s You Should Avoid!
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Gangster School – Satu Hati, Berani Mati

Nedumaran Elangovan

My late grandfather was a Tamil school headmaster (god bless his soul). His school, SJKT Kota Bharu was located deep inside an estate near Gopeng, Perak. This was during the 60s and 70s mind you. This was the time when the only way out from the cycle of poverty was education. Children went to school to learn, cycling for 10 km, through estate roads, come rain or shine. They cared about education. They knew what they had to do. And they did achieve success.

Being the educationist that he was, if he had take one look at the Indian students of today, it would have broken his heart beyond repair. One quick search on Facebook reveals a sorry sight for Indians. Tons of pages dedicated to idiotic gangs. And the members are all Indian school boys. Some even have school names associated with the gangs.

What we think Indian school kids are like

Indian school kids now 

  Read more…